wHEN lON lON cHICKENS aTTACK!
by BurChan
Summary: Chapter 6 up! R & R!! Malon and Lajin are running to Clock Town to save Link! Can they make it?
1. First Day

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Tee hee! Yes I know Katie! I'm slightly copying your idea, but on wit the show!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Zelda charters, but I do own mine characters! Tee Hee!  
  
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When Chickens Attack At Lon Lon (a.k.a. case #409)  
  
  
  
  
  
The Ole Mighty One Who Writes (TOMOWW kinda like tomorrow): *runs around stupidly* I NEED TO WRITE! TEE HEE! *Throws a chicken across Lon Lon ranch* *POP! An Idea! * Oh! I writes story bout chicken!.................  
  
OnGoingVilliagerNamedBob: Tomoww! Mesa needsa faeriesa tosa helpsa mesa livesa!  
  
(I'm naming my self Vara)  
  
Vara: *Throws chair* And what lanague are you speaking?  
  
Bob: Visa.  
  
Vara:......Well I speak credit card!  
  
Bob: How do you speak THAT?  
  
Vara: America.  
  
Bob: (?)  
  
Vara: Okay...so anyway *melts into story* the Visa speaking boy, Bob is walking a long and he sees a.... *Shouts to producer* Hey! What should the stupid kid see?....  
  
Producer:..Uh...how about a horse?  
  
Vara: *smiles* okay...So Bob sees a horse...  
  
Bob: *Walks towards a horse that appears* wait! Can we start this over?  
  
Vara:Uh okay.....  
  
Tee hee! Like first chapter? *runs around yelling "tee hee"* TEE HEE TEE HEE!!!! 


	2. Second Day

(Chapter 2 of when Lon Lon chickens attack!)  
  
Vara: *jumps up* Okay! We are going to try that again! With more detail!  
  
Producer: *slaps head* This is goina be a long day......  
  
Vara: Now Bob get in place.... GO!  
  
Producer: *monotoneishly* action.  
  
Vara: It was a cold boring day in hylure, Linkus Minkus had beaten all The bad guys and had gotten bored with Zelda and moved in the Ganke of Monster Rancher, they are currently kicking the crud out of all the baddies, anyway Bobsian the Weird was walking down to Lon Lon Ranch so he could learn epona's song. When suddenly the *saying this with horror* LON LON CHICKENS ATTACKED! The pain of it *cries*......  
  
Producer:.....  
  
*Scene goes on and bob acts out horrid attack*  
  
(Hours later scene flashes to the stupid boy and the chickens have disappeared into those weird-flying pineapples you see as young link.)  
  
Bob: Mr.Police! Does this mean I can stay in the hospital in the castle and be pampered by the Princess, Zelda, herself?  
  
Mr.Police:.....No..... It means the chicken lady is taking over this j- jobb.....*Becomes quicker in step cause there was a rabid chicken behind the boy.*  
  
Lady Chicken: You, Boy! Why did you step on the chicken's egg? It's just learning how to lay them! And did you know that you just destroyed my newest member of my...*points to chicken "flock"* .... CHICKEN FLOCK!?!  
  
Bob: *meekly* No....  
  
Vara: Good Good! Lest stop now! *pauses* Uh somebody turn off the chickens!  
  
Somebody: Vara! They are real! You can't just turn um off!  
  
Vara: W-well why don't they stop?  
  
Somebody: Well isn't obvious? They haven't been fed!  
  
Vara: *Gasps* Why not?  
  
SomebodyElse: Ed quit ma'am, the chickens would eat his corn stuff he gave um...They wanted.... Human flesh....*gets eaten* AAAHHHH-  
  
Chicken: *Burp!*  
  
Vara: Uh oh. 


	3. Third day

Okay so this isn't the funniest story in the world...oh well! The only thing is ....I LOVE CHICKEN EDDY!! Tee hee!  
  
Okay chapter3 of "WHEN LON LON CHICKENS ATTACK"  
  
Vara: *WALKS IN SEEMINGLY MISSING PART OF HER ARM* OKAY SO WE FINALLY GOT THOSE CHICKENS TO STOP EATIN- (!)  
  
Aerowyn: Uh Vara? You left on the caps lock .....-_-  
  
Vara: EH? O_o  
  
Aerowyn: *sweatdrops* Never mind.....  
  
Vara: so anyway bob was.  
  
Producer: Wait! You just said Bob was!?  
  
Vara: no! i said....Vara: so anyway bob was.  
  
Producer&Aerowyn: *sweatdrop*  
  
Bob: Tee hee!  
  
Vara: so anyways bob was. all his stupid equipment "magically" hanging off his belt, was sitting in the middle of a crime scene, the bad...his chicken killingness...and the good....he was attacked and chicken mauled! What a crime and well you don't really get anything as a mauled people specially if it's by chickens.  
  
Lady Chicken: HE KILLED MY CHICKEN! I WUZ GOINA NAME THAT ONE, THAT ONE AND ONLY TELLY TUBBY! YOU *points at bob* ARE AN INSLUT TO LINKUS KIND!  
  
Linkus Minkus: BA humbug! The child's a desen----- *looks at bob* TTTHHHEEEE PPPPAAAAIIINNNLLLYYYNNNEEESSS!!!!!!!!!! OOOOHHHH IIIITTTT'''SSSS BBBBUUURRRIIINNNNGGG!!!!! AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vara: and so bob was named a dorkus norkus and kicked out of the linkus minkus family. but really in my opinion.....  
  
THE (high) PRODUCER: YOUSA HAVESA NOSA OPINIONSA! YOUSA MORONSA!!!!!  
  
Vara: uh let me guess you speak Visa like bob?  
  
THE (high) PRODUCER: NO!!!! I WUZ TRYING IT OUT!! I REALLY SPEAK-  
  
Vara: Creadit Card? I speak that! Let me show you! Hdit whadit's udit? Idit'm goodit! Hodit yodit?  
  
THE (high) PRODUCER: EXPLAIN MORON THEN I SHOW YOU REAL MANLY TALK!!  
  
Vara: you take the last letter off and add "dit" off "credit". Get it now?  
  
Aerowyn: No... -_- ()  
  
The producer: Figures.  
  
THE (high) PRODUCER: HERE MANLY TALK!!!! IT CALLED WRESTLING!  
  
*punches the crap out of bob, causing the little man to go into a coma.*  
  
Aerowyn: oh well, we never littled him anyway. NAVI!?!  
  
Navi: yep?  
  
Aerowyn: Get me another "bob". Please?  
  
Navi: Okaysa.  
  
Everyone cept navi: *sweatdrop*  
  
THE (high) PRODUCER is learning the actul lanague of the Qu. Please refain from speaking aloud about the primitive but funny ways of man. Thank you and turn in reverse order and reread all my spelling mistakes. Okay wahtever. Oh the infamous Aerowyn wants to say something: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I AM THE INFAMOUS AEROWYN!! BOB IS LINK! IF YOU HAVEN"T GUESSED IT YET! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *quiets down* boy! I always wanted to say that!!  
  
Vara: -_- ()  
  
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	4. FOURTHDAY

Vara: Sorry to disapoint u but that was the bloopers...ha ha. Anyways, we were jus stallin untill we found the real fan fic.  
  
Readers: *whispering* i'm glad this first chapters were crap.  
  
Vara: Okay here goes.........  
  
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(It was a sunny day on Lon Lon Ranch, Malon was busy cleaning the chickens that during the night crawled into the cow barn..ucky!)  
  
Malon: Oh you stupid chickens! Why the cow barn?  
  
(suddenly a pritty purple faerie flies in)  
  
Faerie: Hey! Look! Listen!  
  
Malon: Uh....hi? What's your name?  
  
Faerie: Hey! Mah name is ---- We gotta GO!  
  
Malon: Where? *grabs her "adventure bag" and runs out door and jumps on Epona and follows the faerie*  
  
Faerie: Hey! Look! Listen!  
  
Malon:........... 


	5. Fifth Day

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After the flight from Lon Lon Ranch.  
  
Malon:...........crazied faerie!  
  
Time went on and rider, horses, and faerie became tried.  
  
Faerie: HEY!  
  
Epona: HEY!  
  
Malon: *clams down epona* So what's your name?  
  
Faerie: Look!- uh  
  
Epona: JUST TELL US YOUR FIGGIN' NAME!  
  
Faerie: LISTEN! MY NAME IS LAJIN!  
  
Epona and Malon: You didn't have to shout....  
  
Lajin: Sorries. Okay we need to save Link!  
  
Malon: *shutters* Link? Him? Oh please!  
  
Epona: Amen.  
  
Lajin: *trails off * let's go......HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!!.......come on....  
  
Epona: Okay...... 


	6. Sixth Day

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Okay i kinda have to have short chapters now cause i'm trying to be sane!  
  
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Malon: *riding quickly towards some unknown place* So let me get this straight...*cough ^^* ....Link was put in jail because you told them he found a "good" rave party?  
  
Lajin: Yup, and i ment he found one that nobody needed to be assrested in....*coughs*yet*cough*.....  
  
Epona: Figures, tha kid's always getting into trouble and...don't pull so hard on my bit Malon!!  
  
Malon: Sorry, Epona but you are going to fast.  
  
  
  
Sooner or later Malon figured out where they were going...to her cousin's home in Clock Town. SO as they flew into the town, Cremia ran up to them and yelled.....  
  
Cremia: YAY! MALON CAME TO VISIT!!! YAY!  
  
Malon: Uh hey Cremia. How's they ranch?  
  
Lajin: *whispers* Oh! DON'T ASK ABOUT THAT!  
  
Epona: Well Opps!  
  
Romani: Opps yourself!  
  
Lajin: OKAY!  
  
Romani: Not YOU! Stupid faerie...  
  
  
  
Meanwhile Cremia had remained slinet as the walked back to the Romani Ranch.  
  
  
  
Malon: Cremia? Are you okay? You haven't said anything.  
  
Cremia:....  
  
Lajin: Don't ask about that either..... 


End file.
